As I write this column, E3 is eleven days away. For those of you who do not worship at the altar of video games, E3 is a yearly event that used to be the go to place for new console announcements, hot games, and multiple geekgasms. It is now a shadow of its former self, but we will not get into that here. While I will be offering a lengthy write up following the event that many of you will grow bored with halfway through, I’m going to take this week’s column to offer some predictions and suggestions for the big three. Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo will each offer their own press conferences at the start of the expo where they will do their little PR dance and possibly make a few announcements. So read on as I look at each company, suggest what they should say, predict what they might say, and then throw off my own gamer wish for what they would probably never say.
Nintendo
Number one in the world and number two in my cold dead heart, Nintendo is still riding high on their hotcake console and the success of Wii Fit is surely room for celebration. Unfortunately, their success means they will have the most uneventful press conference. Expects many self-congratulations, touting casual gamers as the new core gamer (don’t worry, my friends have me on suicide watch in case this happens) and the announcement of at least one key franchise title, but which one?
What They Will Announce
Wii Music – A firm 2008 release date that they will miss but it will be worth it. Everyone knows being a conductor is far better than actually playing an instrument.
More Wii Channels – Demos for downloadable games, or actual disc games?
Nintendo developed WiiWare games: An original Mario game perhaps?
What They Might Announce
Animal Crossing Wii – Motion-controlled axe swinging and weed pulling! I hope this game does not come out this year, for the sake of my social life I cannot have this sweet, sweet cocaine-type distraction.
Hard Drive – Sure only us otaku want a hard drive, but with WiiWare tacking off, I would like to not have to delete and re-download my games on a daily basis.
If They Announce This, I Am Going to Spit Out My Vodka
The next Legend of Zelda title, featuring an art style unlike anything we have ever seen. The game will feature full support for the Balance Board for new and exciting ways to crawl through those dungeons. Gamers everywhere initially loathe the new direction until its release in 2011, and Nintendo adds another stellar title to their repertoire.
Microsoft
Number two by the numbers but number one if you ask them (they employ troll logic) the media giant is starting to show some cracks in its armor. With Gears of War 2 being their only anticipated exclusive title fans of the 360 my find themselves looking elsewhere for their gaming fix. With Sony slowly gaining ground Microsoft has to use their ace, Live, and blow Sony’s PSN back down the ladder.
What They Will Announce
Gears of War 2 – Yeah I know, it was already announced, but if you think Gears 2 is not going to be front and center at the press event then I am sure you need to get back to your Commodore 64.
Rent and stream videos off Live – Why wait for the daylong download for movie rentals? Microsoft is poised to push 360 into home media center territory.
Price Drop – We know it is coming, we all know it is coming.
What They Might Announce
Blu-Ray – Because your 360 needs another thing to melt when it overheats.
Rare will become viable again – Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts sure is not what platform fans were hoping for. I do not know if the people at Rare have just been playing a massive practical joke on people for the past few years but Microsoft needs to tell them to shape up, or be sold to Atari.
If They Announce This, I Am Going To Faint at My School Prom, Again
Microsoft is not keen on letting their current hardware go stale, so they are moving on and announcing the release Xbox 720 slated for early 2009. Their strategy will focus on upgradeable hardware akin to the PC with full on Vista support. Oh, and their launch title, Halo 4.
Sony
I am rooting for you, big fella! Any reader of this column (yes, including you, my creepy stalker) knows that I am a Sony fanboy at heart. They seem poised to gain the most momentum from this year’s E3 with games like Resistance 2, the obscenely overhyped Killzone 2, and Little Big Planet. With their sales rising, and this week’s firmware update finally offering in-game XMB and trophies for those achievement harlots out there, it is no longer vogue to be dissing the console. It is your E3 to lose Sony – do not mess this up!
What They Will Announce
Exclusives up the wazooo – Final Fantasy XIII, Kingdom Hearts 3, Killzone 2, Little Big Planet, Resistance 2, it is a good year to be a PS3 owner.
PSP gets some loving – Remember that little handheld of Sony’s. Well they are going to ditch the whole multimedia aspects and make it more akin to a DS, games only and greater connectivity with the PS3.
PS2 retirement party – eight years later, the PS2 is on a decline, maybe it is time to finally say goodbye to arguably the greatest console of all time.
What They Might Announce
PS2 Downloads – Sure they have denied it, but what better way to take advantage of the upgradeable hard drives, you know, aside from massive installations for Soul Caliber 4.
Naughty Dog’s next game – A new Jak and Daxter? I’d put money on Uncharted 2, which would kick some serious arse.
Home’s open beta begins soon, very soon – It could happen.
If They Announce This, I Am Going to Kiss Shane Bettenhausen, And Then Get Arrested
I finished number four, and cannot wait until Metal Gear Solid 5. Kojima himself announces the next title in the series, which will feature Raiden, and fans will cheer. This will all be well and good until gamers actually begin the adventure and find that they will actually be playing as Debin’s cola swilling monkey who we learn was behind all the events since Big Boss began his career as Naked Snake. The world learns to never trust a monkey, because war has changed monkeys.
Check back in two weeks to see if I was right, and next week my message board story should be ready for print. Guess who was banned from the World of Warcraft forums?
